so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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