I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
