i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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