I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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