and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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