This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
