I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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