I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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