She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
