It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
