Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
