you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
