he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
