Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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