I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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