We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same