Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
