Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
