She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
