I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
