can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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