Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize