i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this beer tastes like vomit already
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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