All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
