i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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