I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
