Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
