Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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