I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
