I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
