but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just pee around me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
