yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
