the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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