now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
