I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
