yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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