Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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