I must be too annoying 4 u.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize