R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
