It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
