I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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