I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
