I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
