He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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