That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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