I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
