marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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