He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
