ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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