That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
