Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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