i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
