Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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