If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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