I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize