I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
