My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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