i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
