whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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